| *This is the story of a girl, who cried a river and drowned the whole world* |
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like shooting stars we shine and fade
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 look at the stars
girl: hanna. age: 17. lives: essex. likes: pie, jam, her nan, my nan, your nan, tea, her ipod, her toons, kat and sharargh, and all the lovelies down in windsor, stars, and stars, socks, scarves and h&m, jokes about your nan, beating people up, blaspheming. hates: not getting the blue chairs. she's a simple little choudy.
see how they shine
We only do it for the scars and stories, not the fame.
At least everyone is trying, everyone is shining.
Everyone deserves the flames but it's such a shame.
Such a shame.
for you
I'll nan you.
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| i tried to do handstands for you. |
[Monday October 27 2008  3:39 pm] |
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mood |
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 chipper |
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music |
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bruises - chairlift |
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things seem stackable.
in this moment things are good.
i tried to do handstands for you. but everytime i fell for you.
and you know what? it's ok that i fell for you. because i know how to pick myself up now.
liberation comes in the fact that we have no end.
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[Friday March 23 2007 7:52 pm] |
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mood |
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 crappy |
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why are there no more 'ups' anymore?
just varying depths of 'low'?
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[Thursday March 22 2007 9:10 pm] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
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mayeb it's cos hanna is avoiding work.
or maybe it's cos she's avoiding avoiding so much stuff.
but she's thinking WAAAAY too much right now.
tihngs seem understandable.
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| talk like dizzee... |
[Thursday March 1 2007 4:56 pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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regina spektor |
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ever think about things, like one little event where you went wrong.
but then you think, that it couldn't have been that one little event that led me here.
and then you get to the what ifs. what if that one little event never happened, would i be where i am now. but that's what it amounts to in the end i guess. what ifs. nothing more nothing less.
still it's interesting to think that even if i can pin point an event, why can i not find my way back to there to where it was supposedly ok. so maybe it wasn't that event at all. maybe it was an amalgamation of factors that led to that one event, which in turn has led me to here?
either way. maybe i'm just thinking too much to stop me from having to do some work. maybe its time i did think about these things, in order to not make the same mistakes. maybe none of this matters. maybe it's all just a load of maybes. and maybe i'll never know the answer to any of these questions. but hey. maybe i was sensible enough to ask myself them in the first place.
end of the day. if i could lose whatever it was. i guess i never had it in the first place at all. maybe i was just borrowing it until you came along and took it back.
maybe i'll forgive you for this in time. maybe.
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[Monday November 6 2006 8:31 pm] |
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save us from sleep...
...and what we are
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[Monday October 30 2006 7:16 pm] |
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[Monday October 23 2006 8:32 pm] |
i know what i wanna say. just not quite sure how to say it.
make sense?
why.
that seems to be the question of the moment.
how fitting.
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[Saturday October 21 2006 12:22 am] |
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god didn't like him. but i think i might,
why oh why did he have to look so good again.
ok well i thought he looked good at least.
this s working suprisingly well/
still i thoghu it was funny,.
maybe not as well as ai thight.
oh well.
i guess we're back to where we started then.
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[Monday October 16 2006 5:27 pm] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
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music |
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essex fm |
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fuck sake!
fuck duck fuck duck fuck cuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck duck fuck fuck!
argh. for fuck's sake!!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
argh.
since when was that cool?
when was that fucking cool?!?!?!?!
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| Juh |
[Saturday October 7 2006 2:12 am] |
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mood |
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 hungry |
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music |
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Deftones - Digital Bath (Acoustic) |
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My name is James,
And I say Juh,
And that's why James,
Begins with Juh.
Just to let everyone that is not here know that i miss them and love them all very much. I better see you guys soon.
Peace.
Over.and.out.
P.s. To those who may be drunk, tired or generally slow whilst reading this... THIS IS JAMES/KENZIE/MACKENZIE/WHATEVER..NOT HANNA.
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[Tuesday September 26 2006 4:00 pm] |
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mood |
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shit |
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music |
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TBS |
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today = shit
my solution = time for a self destruct.
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[Monday September 4 2006 3:28 pm] |
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i swear i had something to say.
but now i'm here. i forget.
you're all faggots.
end. of.
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[Friday September 1 2006 11:00 pm] |
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mood |
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contemplative |
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[Friday September 1 2006 10:54 pm] |
ok. so i have a tune in my head.
i dont know who its by.
i dont know what its called.
and i know no lyrics to the song.
all i have to go by is that its a club tune and has whistling in it.
i did once think it was wyclef.
but i'm not so sure now.
CAN YOU HELP RESOLVE THE MATTER?!?!?!?
hit back just to chat y'all.
love you
sex sex sex
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[Wednesday August 23 2006 4:04 pm] |
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mood |
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 cold |
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music |
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snow patrol - open eyes |
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all this reminds me...
reading tomorrow!!!!!
awesome.
maybe i should go get stuff ready or something.
maybe. maybe. maybe.
perhaps.
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[Sunday August 20 2006 11:15 pm] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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music |
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placebo - broken promise |
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i could do the whole deep and meaningful thing right now.
but all i keep thinking is...
i'm going home tomorrow
i'm going home tomorrow
i'm going home tomorrow!
i'm going home tomorrow!!
i'm going home tomorrow!!!
i'm going home tomorrow!!!!
I'M GOING HOME TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!
not that i'm excited or anything.
even just a couple of hours should be nice.
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[Sunday August 20 2006 12:03 am] |
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mood |
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 wankered |
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so i'be had a really nicve couple fo days.
things still dont feel right but hey.
thatys life tifght>
as you ay guess i'm a bit drunk. biut laso typoing in the daRFK WHIich is not working tomo well right now.
ok so yeah.
gutted that tor isn't vomin bvrookes with me.
got A B B C
gutted bout that tbh.
dont really wanna go uni sanymore; nothing feels ribghtl
i'm a bit drunk now.
gonna miss some poeple round here reslly
like nic. oh gos i do love her to bits. she makes me laugh so much!!1
so yes.
nothign feels right.
i dont like a lot of things
i like a lot of other things
this is neiother profound nor good.
i ahte he grades i got...they crushed me tbh.
i lobe how wankedred i am right now
i mss certian ppl.
i miss ot liking someone.
i miss not being in lobve with michael, just cs i cant say it anmymore.
imiss someone loving me.
yeah. life's disjointed to say tyhe least. but it all good somehiow
i think a lot fo alcohol had led me to this'
i like my frinds./ you guys are awesome!
dot worry/ i'm done nwo
xCx...no XxX...no xXx. there we do
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[Wednesday August 16 2006 1:12 pm] |
this is the new laptop. i love it.
its better than everything.
oh and this is free internet.
yes. it rules.
ok i'm off to explore this thing some more.
dont you jst love being in debt when you know its worth it.
in other news....
10 days till my birthday!!
and 22 hours till results!!
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[Wednesday June 21 2006 4:11 pm] |
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mood |
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for the windows in paradise, for the fatherless... |
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ok so i guess this is as good a time as it gets to do this.
so far i've had rather nice exam questions. and also managed to fuck most of them up.
which i fucking hate because, ok so i dont need A's to get into uni (thank god) but boy did i i want them.
last night i sat and worked out what i would've needed in my exams to get a's. there's no way i've done it.
its just that feeling that i've let myself down you know?
and then on top of all that i've started things that i shouldn't.
old habits die hard i guess?
but for those of you out there who are thinking i'm some sort of emo kid....here's my day in pictures.
its been rather good actually. had nice start at half 5!!
( a cut above all the rest )
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[Tuesday June 13 2006 1:50 pm] |
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breakaway - kelly clarkson |
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so had a really nice week.
hassan's gf is actually REALLY nice and sweet.
they've gone home.
i've got an exam 2moro.
haven't started revising yet.
feel kinda sad.
miss living with my brothers.
realised that things will never go back to that again.
nothing feels ok anymore.
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[Sunday June 11 2006 4:07 pm] |
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mood |
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 worried |
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music |
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n sync |
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so this is the point i freak out and have a small substantial sized breakdown.
interesting.
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[Sunday June 11 2006 1:33 pm] |
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today i bought 3 pairs of shoes.....which cost me my education i feel.
why did i go shopping with one of my most terrifying exams tomorrow?
no i dont know either.
now for some hardcore othello and seamus heaney revision!
FO SHIZZLE!!!
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[Friday May 5 2006 4:23 pm] |
so i made my choice.
exeter it is.
whoop.
drama went well i think. got a really good response off the audience which was nice.
but now i'm off to work.
over-worked, over-tired, and over-ly-happy.
yeah i know its stupid. but it makes me feel happy.
i'm not delusional.
just hopeful.
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| uni choices... |
[Monday May 1 2006 4:39 pm] |
do i pick the one which is better acedemically, but has VERY little nightlife....
or the one which is better all round, and not so good acedemically?
THIS IS NOT A RHETORICAL QUESTION, AND I DO WANT YOUR OPINIONS PLEASE, BEFORE 2MORO PLEEEEEEEEASE. I AM GENUINELY LOST, and dont say it depends, blah blah blah. just say one or the other please.
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[Monday April 24 2006 10:35 pm] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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music |
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happy hour - housemartins. |
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my drama soundtrack kicks all over yours.
it has things like manic monday, and happy hour by the housemartins on it. oh and we cant forget good old wham! wake me up...
yeah come to think of it.
my drama soundtrack shits all over your life.
but dont worry. the happy lyrics and upbeat melodies will make you feel better no doubt.
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